Management Consultants

Some of you may not be aware of a creeping destructive force abroad across the land. Companies who lack the nous and spine to sort themselves out by working with their workforce take what appears to be the easier option of bringing in …..consultants. The NHS is one of the worst examples. Senior Managers seem pathologically afraid of getting off their arses and talking to their staff. 

As Johann Hari made very clear in a timely article in the Independent on Friday, it is frequently a disastrous policy.

"David Craig gives a typical explanation of what the consultants Actually Do. After getting a degree specialising in romantic poetry, he was astonished to be hired by a prestigious management consultancy, given three weeks training, and then dropped into major corporations to tell them how to run their oil rigs, menswear stores, and factories, for tens of thousands of pounds a pop. In his brave memoir Rip Off! he explains: "We were proud of the way we used to make things up as we went along... It's like robbing a bank but legal. We could take somebody straight off the street, teach them a few simple tricks in a couple of hours and easily charge them out to our clients for more than £7,000 per week." It consisted, he says, of "lies, lies and even more lies."

"He worked to a simple model, which is common in the industry. He had to watch how a workforce behaved for a week – and then tell the company's bosses, every time, that they had 30 percent too many staff and only his consultancy could figure out who should be culled. If he calculated they actually had the right amount of staff, he was told by his bosses not to be so ridiculous and do his sums again: where was the money for them in a properly-staffed company? The company had to be POPed – People Off Payroll."

"Of course, this advice was often disastrous. His company was sent into a chain of 500 menswear shops. They advised them to cut staff by (surprise!) 30 per cent, and to replace most full-time staff with part-timers. The result? The full-time employees had been highly motivated, because they wanted a career in the company; the part-timers only wanted a little extra cash. So motivation levels in the company collapsed, and with it the standard of service. The company was bankrupt within a few years."

"Yes, you might say, but surely he was just a bad management consultant. The rest must get results. The evidence suggests not. The Cranfield School of Management studied 170 companies who had used management consultants, and it discovered just 36 per cent of them were happy with the outcome – while two thirds judged them to be useless or harmful. A medicine with that failure-rate would be taken off the shelves."

And what is this government of 'all-togethery' proposing? Why, nothing more than bringing in hordes of the buggers to assess and 'streamline' our public sector. 

Any fule kno that there are acres of surplus in some sections of the public sector awaiting the scythe. (MoD anyone?). It doesn't take a tool with a clipboard to do it.