Conserve-a-Tory

Deep in the Downing Street bunker there is a little Tucker who is hugging himself with glee.

Anger at the bankers, ministers booed, economy flatlining, 3rd runway, tax avoidance, selling off the NHS, public sector cuts, austerity....all gone in the blink of an eye. 

The government has a plan. A plan so wonderful it will bring joy to the hearts of the people.  A plan which costs the government nothing and makes them look like they are doing something for their heartland in middle England. A plan with the added bonus of containing a not so subliminal message too!  

For a year, people will be allowed to build larger extensions on houses - up to eight metres for detached homes and six for others - without having to apply for planning permission. But not in conservation areas, for instance Chipping Norton. Shops and offices will also be able to grow to the edges of their premises. Nicholas Boles has been appointed as a caped crusader (aka Junior Minister) to blow away planning regulations. In the past he has described opponents of reform as “hysterical, scare-mongering latter-day Luddites”.

Some of those Luddites include the Local Government Association who claim there is a backlog of 400,000 homes which have planning permission. These have not been built because the builders who have bought the land are waiting for an upturn in the economy.

Now, with a swoosh of the pen all will be well. Across the land conservatory building will be seen as ‘doing one’s bit for the economy’. Neighbours who find their view and light destroyed will be dismissed as moaning minnies who are undermining recovery. 

Conserve a tory indeed.