Christian Conservative

‘Call-Me-Dave’ worked briefly in PR before entering politics. He used his skills to good effect before the last election. He persuaded a sceptical electorate that snaps of him with a dog team were enough to prove his green credentials. He showed a ruthless streak to react so much quicker than the hapless Brown to the Expenses scandal. Several grandees with their moats and duck-houses were rapidly binned. A Primary process was introduced to change the way tories picked their candidates. He made himself look 'strong' - a quality much appreciated by the media. He worked hard to distance his brand from the ‘nasty party.’ Remember ‘Hug a Hoodie’?

What happened next? 

The greenest government ever has become a fracking joke. His handling of the Maria Miller Expenses scandal showed him as even more out of touch than Brown. Not one hoodie has been hugged. And the nasty party are back. Nastier than ever and determined to flog off as much as they can while they can. 

Bankers and financiers who ruined our economy continue to enjoy their bonuses and gross incomes. Not one of the fiddling fraudsters has been sent to jail. Corporations similarly relish their tax evasion schemes and wealthy landowners have the cards stacked in their favour. All of them pay their dues to Tory party coffers. Fancy that!

On the other side of the coin, the vulnerable, the poor and the disadvantaged have paid - and continue to pay - a crippling price. Events have shown the repeated slogan “We are all in this together” to be a deeply cynical PR stunt. 

The rapid rise in the use of food banks has been a stain on our nation. Our economy is ranked in the world’s top ten by some and in the top fifteen wealthiest by others. How shaming it is to see such wealth reinforced at the expense of the poor. 

So what does desperate Dave do to improve his fortunes? He claims to be a practicing Christian. Mmmm. Has he not read or heard any of the core beliefs? Dave’s deeds reveal his ‘Christian Conservative’ slant on the old teachings. 

‘Blessed are the wealthy for they can squander the earth and all therein.’

‘Blessed are the tax avoiders, as they show us the true path to enlightenment, for verily it will be a piece of cake for a wealthy man to enter the kingdom of heaven.’ 

‘The poor can sod off as can all those claiming disability benefit for they are unsightly in the eyes of the rich.’

Thanks to Steve Bell for telling it like it is.